A New Order at Home: Talking to Children About COVID-19
How are we going to explain the situation we are in to children? As is well known, COVID-19 has been declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization. Although the virus reached our country late, unfortunately its effects are being felt everywhere in the world, including here. People have started working from home, some are in quarantine because of their duties, schools have closed, and healthcare workers are isolating themselves at home. Because of social isolation, people aren't going out anyway. Corona is constantly on TV, corona on the evening news, advice to watch out for this and eat that, people glued to their phones for the daily reports… At this point, while adults try to control things in life with anxiety, worry and sadness, children are off to the side, watching their parents' behaviour. What does 'corona' represent in their little minds? What do they think when their mother or father doesn't come home because of 'corona'? What are they feeling during this time? While we are going through a difficult time both professionally and personally (we are in precautionary quarantine), we see the difficulty our colleagues feel in conversations with their children, and we witness moments when they don't know what to say.
Seeing parents on the news every day filming their children saying 'There's corona, stay home' has also, for some reason, started to bother me. The only thing I think about is: what does that child actually know about what they're talking about? Of course, there is also the curfew imposed as a precaution on those under 20. At this point, we think parents, especially those with adolescent children, have a lot of work to do to keep communication with their children healthy. Knowing that every individual is special and unique, and also considering that every developmental stage has its own characteristics, we wanted to prepare a post for parents on the approaches they can take about the coronavirus according to their children's developmental stage.
Early Childhood: In this period, although babies and young children aren't aware of what is happening, they can sense their parents' anxiety.
Try to stay as calm as possible around them.
Try to keep your daily tasks and routines as much as possible.
Limit their exposure to media and the news as much as possible.
In this period, non-verbal behaviours can have negative effects on children (avoiding going out, constant handwashing, etc.). Be careful about non-verbal behaviours.
Avoid talking about the situation with children of this age unless they ask. But when they do ask, instead of lying or presenting things differently, try to explain as accurately as possible using analogies.
Preschool Years: Children in this period are more interested in their surroundings and may ask questions about germs, viruses and doctors.
The need for safety is an important issue in this period. Let them know that adults will meet this need and are working to keep them safe.
Children in this period are also interested in the health of the people around them. You can tell them that everyone is working hard to stay healthy and to help others stay healthy. Tell them they can stay healthy by washing their hands. Make handwashing and hygiene habits fun with games and songs.
Preschool children can't distinguish between what is real and what is figurative. Limit their exposure to the news and social media. Uncontrolled information they pick up from the media can have a big impact on their world.
In this period too, non-verbal behaviours can have negative effects on children (avoiding going out, etc.). Be careful about non-verbal behaviours.
Create a supportive environment that helps children keep their routines. Daycares and schools are closed, but try to maintain the routines they had then as much as possible.
As long as it doesn't put anyone's health at risk, reassure them by giving them enough physical contact.
Observe your child's behaviour. Don't insist on talking about these things unless your child shows signs of distress or asks. But when they do ask, again, share the truth in simple language rather than distorting what is happening.
Elementary School Years: Children in this period are more aware of what is going on. They also tend to share the changes around them with their friends (when circumstances allow).
You can talk to your child about the virus based on sources you are sure are accurate. Since your child's awareness in this period depends on you, try to explain it in the most suitable way possible.
If your child is resistant, anxious or scared, try to be extra tolerant with them.
Explain to your child how they can cope with the anxiety they are feeling and how they can protect themselves from the virus. Tell them they can protect themselves by doing things like getting regular sleep, washing their hands and eating a balanced diet.
Keep social media and the news to a minimum as much as possible.
Try to keep your routine as much as possible.
Accept all of your child's feelings, such as fear and anxiety. Neither brush them off (as in 'There's nothing to it, this isn't important at all') nor reflect the full extent of the anxiety you are feeling.
High School (Adolescence) Years: In this period, adolescents usually tend to share their anxieties and fears with their friends.
You can share with them that feelings such as fear and anxiety are normal in this period.
Some young people may adopt an attitude of ignoring the whole situation. Others may brush it off by constantly turning it into a joke. Adolescents may be masking their anxiety this way. At a time when you feel they are ready to talk to you, you can open a conversation on the subject by asking questions, getting their opinions and listening to their needs.
With schools on break and a curfew in place, adolescents may be using social media heavily during this period. You can let them know that constant exposure to information about the virus may increase their anxiety, and you can set rules for social media use by mutual agreement.
Don't use adolescents to ease your own anxiety. Adolescents may try to understand and help with the problems of their parents and the adults around them. But instead of sharing your fears and anxieties about the virus with them in an uncontrolled way, you can try sharing them with adult friends or family members.
I hope we can get through this period as soon as possible and with as little harm as possible. We wish us all healthy and pleasant days.
