Courage: The Hidden Strength Within Us
Courage… Such an ambiguous concept. Sometimes it's attributed to fools, sometimes to heroes. One day your courage makes a fool of you, another day it carries you to the top. Being brave is often praised, but on the other hand, society decides what you should be brave about. The instinct to carry on in life as social beings accepted by society can sometimes hold courage back a little. It's a concept we could debate endlessly, but a little brainstorming will do us all good.
The word courage is generally used as the opposite of fear. In other words, a brave person is thought to have no fear about a particular matter. Some people seem brave in love and relationships, some in work life, some in fights or in taking risks. But is courage really just a person continuing to do what they've been good at since an early age? We don't think so. Courage involves difficulty and emerges in the face of difficulty. Courage is trying things we haven't been able to do until now. It's breaking our own chains. It's being eager to try and not being afraid of failing. It's stepping out of our comfort zone and being open to new things. Only the person themselves can know whether a brave act is truly brave, because our limits are hidden in our minds, and we decide the breaking point of those limits ourselves. We should also remember that sometimes we see ourselves as inadequate and, losing our belief that we are brave, give up trying and taking a new step. That's why getting to know ourselves first and discovering our capacity seems necessary to be able to show the courage we'll need in the events we face. The activity below will help us with this.
Speaking for ourselves, we can say we need a bit of courage these days. We need to step out of our own comfort zone, try things and not be afraid of failure. Let's say we've decided to break down our own limits. We don't know right now what the result will be. Then again, we wouldn't know what the future holds even if we showed no courage at all. So uncertainty won't actually be a new part of our lives. We've grown our belief in trying and taken a step toward becoming brave people. The only strategy we used in doing so was 'making a decision': a decision about what we want to do, how we want to live, our goals and our future. What we're going to do isn't hopping into the first car that passes by. We weighed dozens of possibilities and made plans and backup plans. Even so, we need to show courage in the face of having to leave our comfort zone. There's no promise or guarantee that we'll succeed. But we fully trust ourselves. Our biggest motivation is knowing we'll have tried, and that five years from now, looking back, we won't say 'if only!'
Since we have a fire of courage burning inside us right now, why not pass a little of it on to you? We found a great resource on the subject and wanted to share an exercise we think will benefit us all. First, we'll need to unpack the concept of courage a little.
There are different definitions of courage. These definitions have been grouped under 6 headings. We're sure everyone will find something of their own under at least one of them.
DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF COURAGE
1)Acting despite fear
This is the courage shown by people who, despite their fear, see it as a challenge, take action and overcome it.
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." Nelson Mandela
2)Following your heart
This is the courage shown by people who have a curiosity or a passion, follow the path they've drawn by listening to their heart, and overcome the difficulties they meet along the way.
"Passion encourages us to be a little crazy, to challenge ourselves and discover new things, and drives us to do extraordinary things. Passion is the heart of courage and should always be so." Midori Komatsu
3)Persevering through hardship
This is the courage shown by people who, whatever life brings, keep fighting as best they can without falling into despair, even in the hardest moments.
"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer." Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'" Mary Anne Radmacher
4) Standing up for what is right
This is the courage shown by people who stand firm for what they believe is right, whatever the cost.
"Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes." Maggie Kuhn
5)Expanding your limits and stepping out of your comfort zone
This is the courage shown by people who manage to move away from their comfortable life and the limits they've drawn for themselves, and set out to gain new experiences.
"One cannot discover new oceans unless one has the courage to lose sight of the shore." Lord Chesterfield
6)Facing pain with faith and dignity
This is the courage shown by people who can keep fighting with faith and dignity despite the hardships they go through and the pain they endure.
"There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer." Viktor Frankl
You probably see yourself in one or more of these 6 definitions. In life, we face many situations in which we need to show courage. But of course, it isn't always easy to take action and say 'I am brave.' Let's move on to an exercise that we think will help us get to know ourselves better, build our courage and adapt it to the situation…
COURAGE EXERCISE
Go somewhere quiet where you can listen to yourself, and take a pen and paper.
*Start the activity by thinking about our first heading, the "Acting despite fear" definition of courage. Answer the questions with this definition in mind.
*Remember a situation as an adult in which you were afraid and took action by facing your fear.
1) What did you observe and feel in that moment? (e.g. I saw the gondola at the amusement park and my stomach started cramping with excitement)
2) What did you say to encourage yourself? What did the people around you say? (e.g. I told myself that even little children could ride the gondola, so I could too)
3) At what point did your fear start to decrease?
4) Now think of a situation in childhood when you were afraid and faced that fear. Did it have anything in common with the situation in the first question?
5) Now think of a situation you are currently struggling with, afraid of or anxious about. What are you most afraid of? (e.g. if I ask for a raise, my boss might fire me.)
6) Now think about your two previous experiences and check whether you can adapt the encouraging skills you used then to your current situation. Remind yourself that you have these skills and that you were able to use them in the past. What mental and environmental obstacles prevent you from using these skills? How can you get rid of these obstacles or cope with them?
Continue this activity for 6 separate days, adapting it to each of the 6 different definitions of courage above (for example, on the second day of the activity, proceed by recalling past experiences in which you showed the courage of 'following your heart'). When you reach day 7, repeat the activity one last time with the definition of courage that feels most meaningful to you, and try to figure out what attitude you'll take toward the challenging situation you're currently facing.
We've also included below the English source where we found this activity. We really liked it. Getting to know ourselves and discovering the qualities that make us brave must surely be a very valuable gain.
Whatever happens, life often requires us to take critical steps. Courage, with the dozens of meanings it carries, plays a big role in our lives. Perhaps being brave is the key to progressing, changing, growing and self-actualization. Sometimes by overcoming obstacles, sometimes by standing firm, sometimes by enduring pain.
May we all have a courageous life :) See you in the next post.
Note: You can send your questions through the comments section or the contact us section.
For the source of the exercise, click here.
