How to Become Luckier?
Unfortunately, we can't choose everything that happens to us in life. Even though it's said that hard work increases luck, sometimes things don't go the way we want. I recently saw just how true this is through a painful experience of my own. Having nearly a year's worth of effort erased in an instant was a hard thing to accept.
Why? How did this happen? Why? Why?
These are questions caught in a vicious cycle, and unfortunately they lead nowhere. They keep me dwelling on the event, blaming myself and/or the people around me, and I end up feeling drained, joyless, or irritable.
After the first few days, even though I could have kept asking 'Why?', I started thinking about what I could do differently, also trying to see things from my husband's point of view. What was the real point of dwelling on something that had already happened and over which I no longer had any control?
'Make a way, find a way, or get out of the way.'
No matter how much I turned this over in my mind, I could neither make a way nor find one. I noticed that at times, stepping out of the way, letting myself go with the flow, and focusing only on the details I actually had control over made me feel better.
But this doesn't mean 'there's nothing here, forget what happened.' I try to focus on what I can do to start over, and on how I might make up for part of what was lost, and to take action again.
Unfortunately, our experiences don't always lead us down the path we expect or want. But instead of getting stuck in a vicious cycle of 'Why' and 'How?' questions in the face of what life brings, focusing on the areas where we do have control will, one way or another, lead us to a resolution, and will open the way to being 'lucky' again.
Msc. Psychologist Duygu Cankaya Cadircioglu
