Quarantine Diary
This post describes the beginning of the time I spent in quarantine. It is a short account of a period filled with hardship, struggle, experience, fatigue, anger, solidarity and many other emotions. It is the story of a time when I looked enviously at people on Instagram stories watching movies and cleaning their homes under the name of self-isolation. Quarantine aside, having grown so used to adult life, I think this will be a post where I share my thoughts and the feelings stirred in me by suddenly staying in a dormitory for students half my height, hitting my head on the upper bunk every morning when I woke up, bending down to get into bed, using shared toilets, being separated from my cat, eating from foam meal trays, being shuttled from the dorm to work and back every morning and evening in our masks and gloves, and everything else I went through during this time.
I want to start the second paragraph of my post with gratitude. Because no matter how much I complain, I have a job, and I am working, even if under difficult conditions. During this time, I can't even imagine how hard it is for people who have lost their jobs, even more so than for healthcare workers. So, even though I am struggling with my situation, I am trying to be as accepting as possible.
Every individual is different. Our differences, such as character, culture, and social and economic circumstances, set us apart from everyone else and shape our expectations of life. Having different expectations of life, in turn, makes it harder for us to understand each other and empathize. That is why, just as I, while in quarantine at a Ministry of Education dormitory, can't understand people complaining about their quarantine by the fireplace, people facing financial problems won't be able to understand me either. On the other hand, I must say I doubt that many people have a real capacity for empathy. Although I can imagine the hardships they face, it would probably be a lie to say I fully understand people who have lost their jobs, are in financial difficulty and are struggling to even put bread on the table. In a pandemic of this scale, described as the biggest problem since the Second World War, of course everyone will have their own problems. It is not for any of us to decide whether these problems are small or big. After reading what I've written, you too can turn to your own thoughts and feelings. You can even write down what you are going through to keep a record of it and give your feelings an outlet. Along with trying to understand others and standing in solidarity, I think understanding ourselves and discovering our own needs are the most important parts of this process.
Today is my second day in quarantine (it was the second day when I started writing, but by the time I finished, we were on the eighth day of quarantine). I know it's still very new. But the hardest times are the early ones. That's why I wanted to put my thoughts on paper while I still haven't gotten used to my situation.
We are staying in a high school dormitory. We have no contact with the outside. In the morning a shuttle picks us up and takes us to work. In the evening it brings us back. No one who isn't in quarantine can enter the workplace. This is meant to keep the virus from spreading to convicts and detainees. From the outside, it may really look like a sensible measure. But no matter how sensible it looks, nothing changes the fact that we left our homes, our families and our pets to go into quarantine. Of course, no one said it would be easy. Even before entering quarantine, we knew we would be going through a hard time. The first days were proof of that: bunk beds without the comfort of home, shared toilets, and a dormitory with shortcomings, last used by high school students and then hastily emptied. Still, as the days go by, our needs are being met. The dorm's equipment shortages are being fixed one by one. A more livable environment is starting to take shape. On the other hand, we are adapting more with every passing moment. Some of us exercise, some play okey, some pray. In the end, as in many difficult situations, everyone in the group helps one another and creates a new living space. In an environment where pitching in together is a must, we are witnessing hierarchy disappear and everyone lending a hand.
In fact, the situation we are in is like an experiment. At first, we felt as if we were in a reality show. Our manager, who was leading the organization, was working selflessly to set up a system from scratch. But from where we stood, it looked as if he had been doing this for years and was introducing us to the usual competition format. From a group of about 40 people, a tea attendant, a canteen attendant and cleaners working in shifts were chosen. Some people were also chosen to hand out meals and to bring in the food delivered from outside. In the little system we created, things slowly started to fall into place.
As things progressed, I think my mood also improved over these two days. I saw that I could do things I was afraid of and thought I couldn't do. For example, because going down to the ground floor of the dorm to shower and coming back up seemed like such a big deal to me, I had put off showering for two days. But when I finally did it, I realized that although it wasn't as comfortable as at home, it was actually very pleasant and relaxing. Settling into a cramped room that was dusty from every angle and full of things the students had left in the corners, and cleaning it, also took some time (actually, what took time was making the decision to act). As simple as it may seem, accepting the place I was in, making it my own and making it suit me increased my adaptation and my happiness.
Most of the people staying in the dorm were people I didn't know. So for the first few days, I was planning to move and stay in another building where my close friends were. But every moment I stopped lounging in front of the computer and joined activities, I started to feel closer to my dorm mates. Ever since I graduated from university, I had thought it was hard to make new friends and that old friends were much more precious. But I came to believe that when there is a chance to share more and to get to know different people more closely, wonderful friendships can be formed.
Of course, there is a lot more that could be written about my quarantine. Having my wife by my side, always my greatest source of support, is my greatest fortune. Every few days, Duygu and I record videos as a kind of diary. Maybe at some point we'll trim them down and share them with you. If I had to make an overall assessment, I'm happy with my situation right now. We are in quarantine in a peaceful environment full of solidarity, friendship and dedication. Our needs have been met. Although we are far from the comfort of home, we are playing an extremely real yet equally interesting game in a socially rich environment. Our greatest wish is for this game, with all its ups and downs, to end as soon as possible, to return to our normal lives and to be reunited with our loved ones. But until then, we are playing by the rules and trying to have lots of fun, make good use of our time and get used to our situation.
Hoping to see you somewhere out there very soon!
