Taking Up a New Hobby
After reading the title, I can guess that you might say, "A hobby? Who has the time?" At least some of you. I think I felt the same way before Covid-19. Our "modern" lives are so full that, after working all day and getting exhausted, the best thing we can do for ourselves seems to be watching videos on Instagram or YouTube, or lying down and watching TV for a while. Even the idea of spending our free time on a physical or mental activity seems tiring. For the more "determined" among us, the time between work and bed may go to work-like intellectual activities that can count as an investment in the future. One way or another, not many people say, "I can make time for a hobby." And among those who do, the number who think taking up a new hobby is meaningful enough probably wouldn't exceed the fingers of one hand. The real picture only emerges once you try. People who have a hobby, if they have truly found one that reflects who they are, tend to see these activities as restful pursuits even when they are tired. For the other group, which I belong to, the idea of resting while doing a hobby, or of seeing a hobby as something that isn't tiring, can feel far-fetched.
In fact, besides the reality that we are busy, we are facing a bigger reality: we are wasting the time we could spend on hobbies. Defining social media as a hobby could be seen as an option, but that doesn't feel like a very suitable approach to us. So, as a couple who chase what is new, more functional, more useful and more fun, we can say we made an important decision to take up hobbies and keep them going. In line with this decision, we took our first steps by creating suitable spaces for the hobbies we will pursue. Little by little, we are also starting to make financial investments in these hobbies. Duygu decided to set up a small workshop for sewing, and I decided to set up one for radio-controlled model vehicles. Model vehicles were a hobby I had years ago but hesitated to return to, using lack of time as an excuse. Even making the decision got me very excited. Sewing, we can say, will be a trial for Duygu. It is an area she thinks she is interested in, and if she finds that she really is, she will continue. Otherwise, she seems determined to try different hobbies related to other interests.
In writing this post, we wanted both to share the decisions we made and to encourage you to take up a hobby. A Turkish friend we met in Australia once shared a few memories about himself. He said that when he first went there, people asked him what hobbies he had and he couldn't answer; so he had to take up a few hobbies, he was very happy about it, and even getting up at 4 or 5 in the morning for his hobbies made him feel good. The lesson I take from this little story is this: our people need someone to nudge them to take up a hobby. Jokes aside, sometimes being pushed, supported and encouraged by someone makes it easier for us to take a step. Still, it doesn't change the fact that we are alone in the step we take. Life isn't only about working, only serving or only being served. Life isn't just about growing old while fulfilling obligations. Why not shape this life to suit ourselves? Why not sprinkle in a few things we enjoy? Why not think about ourselves a little?
Finding the right hobby for ourselves is not very easy. It is even quite possible to get bored with a hobby we think truly reflects us and to start finding it meaningless. But if we hope to find the right one in a single shot, without trying and without making mistakes, we need to know that this isn't realistic either. If you know your own needs, your own skills, your own dreams, what you want to move away from and what you want to move closer to, you have already taken an important step toward finding the right hobby for you. What matters is to try and to give a chance to new things that will bring a fresh breeze into your life. After that, when you're under pressure, when you're bored, when you have free time, when you come home from work, when you finish the housework or complete your assignments, the first thing you'll probably want to do is spend a good time with a hobby you love that reflects you: picking up your knitting, putting a few pieces together in your workshop, dipping your brush in paint or touching the strings of your guitar.
If you don't have a fulfilling pursuit at this stage of your life, I hope you'll start looking for a new hobby. If you don't know what kind of hobby to start, let me try to help with a few points that I think will be useful. These points include recommendations to keep in mind when starting any hobby, which we can use to identify the right hobby for ourselves.
1) Financial Situation: Some hobbies cost you money, while others help you earn it. At this point, you should know what you want. You might say there's nothing like a hobby that makes money. However, you should make sure you won't start to see it as a second job after a while. Perhaps the hobby you pursue will cost more than you expected and therefore won't be sustainable. Setting a budget in advance and sticking to it will help you choose the right hobby.
2) Time: You should think about the time you can set aside for the hobby. If you don't have much free time and you've chosen a hobby that requires a lot of time and effort, you may struggle to keep it up. In the long run, you may give up your hobby, complaining that you can't find the time, and feel disappointed. There are also hobbies you can pursue with limited free time. You can focus on those.
3) Social aspect: How socially busy is your daily life? What level are your social needs? Is the hobby you choose something you want to do alone, or one that matches your wish to be in social settings, online or face to face? You can take up hobbies at two different social extremes, such as knitting at home or joining dance events with a large group. Social activities may suit people who are alone in their work or home life, while solitary hobbies may make more sense for people who are constantly around others and need time alone. Ultimately, this is a personal choice to keep in mind.
4) Sides of you that stay in the background: Every individual brings different skills and different sides of themselves to the fore in their work or daily life. Some do physical work, while others carry out more mental or social activities. In such cases, some of our other sides remain passive and may need attention. For example, someone who works as a manual labourer in a factory might take up an intellectual hobby that lets their body rest, such as reading books, signing up for online courses or writing poetry. Conversely, a psychologist who feels mentally and socially drained might want to take up a hobby that brings physical and motor skills to the fore, such as crafts or sports. Of course, this doesn't mean that people who do physical work shouldn't take up hobbies involving physical activity.
5) Relaxing or challenging? Do you want your hobby to relax you, or to challenge you and push you to develop yourself? This can also be an important factor when deciding which hobby to pursue. Perhaps you can have both challenging and relaxing hobbies. Both may be needed at different times.
6) Alone or with a partner? You may be looking for a hobby you can share with your partner. If you only have hobbies of your own, you can try different combinations for new ones. You may want to take up hobbies that include activities you can do with your spouse or with other couples.
7) Responsibility: Some of us already have lots of tasks in life that must be finished, that carry a lot of responsibility and have deadlines. For these people, it may be a better fit to take up hobbies with relaxed activities that don't have to be completed.
When you reflect deeply on these points, they will help you find the right hobby for you. When you feel ready for something new like this, or when you need a pastime, I'd say don't step back; try out what's on your mind.
Do you have a hobby you're already pursuing or one you'd like to start? You can share it with us.
Take care.
Malik Kubilay Çadırcıoğlu, Psychotherapist
Source I used for the points:
