Butterfly Valley, 2020. Part - The Vulnerability Schema Recently, while reading about the schema therapy approach, I began to think that the vulnerability schema (the deep-seated belief that we are weak and fragile) is one of the most common schemas in our society. This schema shows itself through a feeling that something bad is going to happen, a strong belief that the world is a dangerous place, a fear of losing money, power or health, and a desire to feel safe that overrid

Akhisar, 2020. In yesterday's post, we talked about why we should take up a hobby. When we think of hobbies, what usually comes to mind are things we do on our own: crafts, making things, or tinkering and repair projects. If you have a hobby like this and the time you spend on your own keeps growing, it can create conflict at home. It's quite normal for your spouse to expect more attention, and not spending quality time together can weaken the dynamics of the relationship. Th

Akhisar, 2020. Our daily lives usually follow a routine. Meeting our basic needs in order to survive naturally becomes our priority, which is why we spend most of our lives working. People choose their careers at an age when they don't yet fully know themselves, so very few truly enjoy their work for a lifetime. On the contrary, after a certain point our jobs can become stressful and wear us out both physically and mentally. On the other hand, our social relationships aren't

Kadıköy, İstanbul, 2020. COVID has changed many things in our lives. Before COVID, Friday plans meant going out with friends in the evening, talking over ideas for weekend activities, or hosting big gatherings; since COVID, Friday's plan is to stay home, just like any other day. With our routines disrupted, we may feel lonelier and more isolated than usual because we're staying home on Fridays and Saturdays, the days we used to set aside for fun and for shaking off a long wee

From time to time, when we look back on our childhood and think about what our mother or father did or didn't do for us, we may feel disappointment, anger and hurt. ‘Like mice endlessly running through the same maze, many people spend years going over the same old stories about how their parents disappointed them and ruined their lives.’ ❗️As a child, you may have seen your parent as unreachable, selfish, or someone who didn't value you. ❗️ As a child, you may have blamed the

This must be a question that both men and women ask often. What does a woman want? Drawing on some of what I've observed and heard, I wanted to write about what “womankind” wants, expects and hopes for from men and from everyone else. In doing so, my aim is certainly not to reduce billions of people to a single gender identity or to label women. I will try to shed light on the needs of women, especially in our country, who have been misunderstood, whom no one has made an effo

Patience is not passive waiting or giving up. Learn what patience really means, common misconceptions about it, and practical ways to develop this skill.

Why does low self-esteem persist? Learn how core beliefs, life rules, anxious expectations and self-critical thoughts keep it going, and how to work on them.

Parental burnout is more than everyday parenting stress. Learn what it is, the risk factors behind it, and practical self-help steps for parents who feel exhausted.

What is depression, how is it different from grief, and what causes it? Learn the symptoms, ways to protect yourself and practical self-help steps.

İğneada, 2020. Most of us have anxiety-laden, intrusive thoughts that we manage to overcome in daily life. If we can keep these difficult thoughts from lingering in our minds longer than necessary, and get through them without experiencing intense anxiety, it means we're already coping with them well. Most of us have double-checked the iron even though we're sure we unplugged it, or checked over and over whether the water was left running as we left the house. These are commo

Why do couples drift apart after marriage? Drawing on Dr. John Gottman's research, we look at the four communication patterns that harm relationships and practical ways to rebuild friendship with your spouse.

Immigration reshapes more than geography—it reshapes identity and social bonds. This article looks at why loneliness is so common among immigrants in Canada and offers practical ways to build social support and adjust to a new life.

Akhisar, 2021. Emotion is one of the most important concepts among human mental processes. Every one of us tries many things, whether they work or not, to control our emotions, regulate them, and create more functional and positive feelings. Because having positive emotions is, most of the time, our most important worldly goal. We set goals for ourselves or adopt a certain lifestyle to feel happier, better, more at peace, or more comfortable. Some of us think we will reach in

Manisa, 2021. The world has changed… Everywhere is left in pain... I can't be entirely sure whether the real cause of so much pain is that the world has changed, or the growing awareness that comes with age, but I can feel the depth it brings. Walking around "happily" with headphones in, then seeing the helplessness of stray animals and feeling guilty about it; avoiding following the news to stay away from pain; trying not to hear the news so as not to be upset — all of this

Izmir, 2020. Children may turn to various ways of expressing their needs and wants and articulating themselves. As adults, when a child chooses ways like crying or whining to express themselves, we can see our way forward more clearly in finding a solution. But there is another important way children sometimes choose to express themselves — one that leaves us feeling stuck, and that runs counter to our values: lying. Children usually learn to lie around age three. At this age

Akhisar, 2020. Writing is the most beautiful way to reflect one's feelings. My husband and I are moving to Canada. In my last days before leaving Akhisar T-Type Closed Penal Institution, I wrote down what I was feeling on the back pages of my interview notebook, so as to leave myself a keepsake. These entries were written in the lawyer visitation rooms arranged for the Psycho-Social Service, so that we could carry out our interviews safely under pandemic conditions. I like to

Paris, 2015. It's well known that when common emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, joy, and anxiety are expected to last a long time, or when they actually do last a long time, changes in eating behavior tend to occur. All of these emotions, regardless of the direction of the effect, can noticeably change our eating speed, food choices, chewing speed, the amount we eat, and our desire to eat. The change that occurs in a person's appetite due to emotional stress is not the s

Canada, 2022. Coping with emotions—trying to regulate or change them—is, whether we notice it or not, one of the most important undertakings of our daily lives. In days that seem to consist of repeating routines—waking up in the morning, reviewing the day's plans, following our routines, meeting our basic needs, completing tasks, and socializing—our emotions often fluctuate in unpredictable ways. Even on an ordinary day that fits our routine and resembles the one before, unpl

Oshawa, ON, 2022 At the University of Florida, Professor Jerry Uelsman divided the students in his photography class into two groups: he told the first group that the more photographs they turned in at the end of the term, the higher their grade would be, while the second group would be evaluated on a single "perfect" photograph they submitted. At the end of the year, he found, surprisingly, that the best photographs came from among those the first group had turned in. That's

Oshawa, 2022. We all have behaviors we'd like to change or adjust. These might include quitting smoking, losing weight, or finishing assigned tasks on time by working steadily. Say, for example, you started a diet. Everything's going fine, but then you went to a get-together with friends and happily ate a slice of cake among all the delicious treats. What do you say to yourself after eating that slice? 'All that effort was for nothing.', 'I won't be able to accomplish anythin

Oshawa, 2022 Today, I'll be talking about two fundamental psychological concepts that many of you have often heard of, but perhaps don't know the deeper meaning behind. These concepts are widely followed both by mental health professionals and by many people who are more or less interested in psychology, and they're associated with psychological well-being, that is, mental health. However, in this piece I'm declaring where I stand, and by pitting the two concepts against each

Oshawa, 2023 We recently watched Cem Yilmaz's new film "Do Not Disturb." Those who've seen it will already know, but for those who haven't, the film offers a sharp critique of the new social-media-driven world order and of social media's self-development gurus. At this point, as psychologists who also post on social media ourselves, it's hard not to agree with Cem Yilmaz's criticism. We have to turn the needle on ourselves too and admit that mental health content shared on so

Life lessons learned from a cat → self‑care, movement, adaptability, routine, communication, boundaries, curiosity, love, being yourself.

Migration often brings with it one of life's deepest internal conflicts. On one side is the desire to build a new life; on the other, an attachment to roots, family, habits, and a sense of belonging. These two forces pull in opposite directions, and the person can feel as though they want to both leave and stay at the same time. In psychology, this is called "competing commitments." Let's take a closer look at this concept now.

Living in Canada can bring both opportunity and emotional challenges. This article explores the importance of Turkish therapy, the emotional impact of immigration, and how online therapy can help Turkish-speaking individuals feel more understood and supported.

I will explore answers to the question, “Why don’t people listen to me?” and share actionable solutions.